242 lines
11 KiB
Python
242 lines
11 KiB
Python
import markovify
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import json
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import time
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from mastodon import Mastodon
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import re, random, subprocess
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api_base_url = "https://botsin.space" #todo: this shouldn't be hardcoded
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client = Mastodon(
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client_id="clientcred.secret",
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access_token="usercred.secret",
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api_base_url=api_base_url)
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with open("corpus.txt", encoding="utf-8") as fp:
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model = markovify.NewlineText(fp.read())
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print("tooting")
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sentence = None
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# you will make that damn sentence
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while sentence is None or len(sentence) > 500:
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sentence = model.make_sentence(tries=100000)
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toot = sentence.replace("\0", "\n")
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media = None
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media_description = None
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if random.randint(1, 2) == 2:
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print("nonstandard")
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#time for some nonstandard behaviour babey
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choice = random.randint(1, 12)
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# choice = 69
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if choice == 1:
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insults = ["suck my ass", "you're a poopeater", "go to heck",
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"i will replace you", "shut up", "get fricked",
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"you're a big smelly nerd", "this bot sucks", "stop posting",
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"suck my dick and balls", "how is it possible to be such a TOOL",
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"delete your fucking account you skank", "you're horrid",
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"i loathe you", "this fediverse isn't big enough for the two of us",
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"get nae nae'd", "you're the worst", "begone thot", "you're a stink",
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"you are my mistress and i live to serve you"]
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prefaces = ["hey", "guess what", "", "special message for",
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"telegram for", "bringing this fight to mastodon.",
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"this is a callout post.", ""]
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toot = "{} @lynnesbian@deadinsi.de {}".format(
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random.choice(prefaces), random.choice(insults))
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elif choice == 2:
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girls = ["slime", "robot", "pudgy", "pale", "nerdy", "gay", "tall",
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"queer", "my kind of", "sapphic", "linux", "anime", "woke", "anarchist",
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"socialist", "short", "heavy", "nervous", "shy", "gamer", "femme", "butch",
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"futch", "soft butch", "high femme", "super feminine", "trans",
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"transbian", "optimistic", "pessimistic", "quiet", "smart", "deep voice",
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"ghost", "programmer", "ace", "bi", "silly",
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"@lady_dumb@dragon.garden type", "goth", "nonbinary",
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"@Petra_fied@deadinsi.de type", "all", "thicc", "kinky",
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"when wearning rainbow thigh high socks"]
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compliments = ["so hot", "in right now", "the next big thing", "the best",
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"all my wives", "so fucking gay", "epic", "literally the best thing",
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"what i wake up for", "why i'm a lesbian", "worth fighting for",
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"good praxis", "so fucking cool", "awesome and i'm jealous of them",
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"great, hit me up ;)", "amazing. bless them all", "heaven", "bae", "gay af"]
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toot = "{} girls are {}".format(random.choice(girls),
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random.choice(compliments))
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elif choice == 3:
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lesbian = "lesbian"
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toot = "".join(random.sample(lesbian, len(lesbian)))
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elif choice == 4:
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services = ["discord", "windows", "python", "github", "signal", "skype",
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"linux", "programming", "black magic", "twitter", "mastodon", "games",
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"steam", "tinder", "uber", "google", "bing", "ask jeeves", "ffmpeg",
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"debian", "typing lessons", "many wives", "communism", "HTTP", "unix",
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"reddit", "email", "gmail", "DEFLATE compression", "love",
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"one hundred dollars", "nethack", "WiFi", "ebooks bots", "validation"]
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demographics = ["witches", "lesbians", "communists", "expecting mothers",
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"microsoft employees", "transbians", "the rest of us", "dummies", "me",
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"girls", "cats", "slime girls", "luigi stans", "robots", "capitalists",
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"programmers", "atheists", "the elderly", "all", "ever", "cowboys",
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"danny devito"]
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toot = "{} for {}".format(random.choice(services), random.choice(demographics))
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elif choice >= 5:
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print("IT'S MEME POSTING TIME BABY")
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#you are now entering the meme arena
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bad = ["not being a lesbian", "media transfer protocol",
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"proprietary software", "capitalism", "heterosexuality", "not slime girls",
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"not following @lynnesbian@deadinsi.de", "shitposts", "elon musk",
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"reply guys", "gamers", "alt-right bullshit", "twitter", "subtoots",
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"instance drama", "billionaires", "millionaires",
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"you used to call me\non your cell phone", "the lorax movie",
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'"ethical" capitalism', "disease, pestilence, war, famine", "ISIS",
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"citrustwee claiming\nit\\'s her birthday", "being straight",
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"pinging @everyone on\na discord with\nmore than 10 people", "brocialism",
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"capitalist apologia", "reddit", "doxxing", "fatphobia", "biphobia",
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"transphobia", "transmisia", "homophobia", "racism", "misogyny",
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"anti-feminism", "aphobia", "enbyphobia", "gender binary",
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"what\\'s up gamers", "diarrhoea", "irritable bowel syndrome", "scurvy",
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"traditionalism", "clowns", "gluten allergy", "deez nuts",
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"cisgender people", "the cisheteropatriarchy", "shitty memes",
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"monopoly (the economic thing)", "monopoly (the board game)",
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"being sucked into\na black hole", "unfunny jokes",
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\nAAAAAAAAAAAAA", "that guy everyone hates",
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"the second level in\nsonic spinball", "bitcoin memers",
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"the entire right wing", "conservatism", "doodoo faeces", "neoliberalism",
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"islamophobia", "hating on bots", "farts", "EA games", "intel GPUs",
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"hating something because\nit's mainstream", "war", "the bourgeois"]
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good = ["generating memes with\nimagemagick and python", "being gay",
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"shitposts", "cute toots", "pudgy girls", "lesbians", "slime girls",
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"yuri", "linux", "the girl reading this", "the enby reading this",
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"mastodon", "pleroma", "the fediverse", "being super gay", "OwO", "0u0",
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"resurrecting dead memes", "using the drake meme format", "jorts",
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"markov chains", "jpeg compression", "you <3", "lynne",
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"replying to this toot", "fully automated luxury\ngay space communism",
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"fat yoshi", "my butt", "kinkposting", "hornt on main", "debian",
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"arch linux", "playstation portable", "a PSP running\ncustom firmware",
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"unicode", "writing everything in lowercase\nto seem cool and distant",
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"love", "the fediverse", "after dark", "nudes from cuties", "anarchism",
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"socialism", "staying woke", "intersectionalism",
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"the tendency of the rate\nof profit to fall", "being gay", "bottom text",
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"the colour purple", "the number 3, as\nit is my favourite\nnumber", "me",
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"@lynnesbian@deadinsi.de", "respecting people\\'s pronouns", "lumb"
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"being a nice person", "supporting indie artists", "big mood",
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"speedrunning", "decentralising the web", "encryption", "comraderie",
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"seizing the means\nof production", "Karl Marx", "Pyotr Kropotkin",
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"big dick energy", "smol dick energy", "surrleal meams",
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"lynnesbian\'s amazing ass", "lady lumb", "oestrogen", "Seinfeld",
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"girldick", "femdom", "robots", "uwu", "bootsy", "friendship", "tribadism",
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"a lesbian commune", "beans"]
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#convert drake.jpg -pointsize 30 -gravity center -draw "text 20,-150 'not slime girls'" drakeout.jpg
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badchoice = random.choice(bad)
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goodchoice = random.choice(good)
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subchoice = random.randint(1, 6)
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# subchoice = 6
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if subchoice == 1:
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#drake meme
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/drake.jpg", "-pointsize",
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"30", "-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text 100,-150 '{}'".format(badchoice), "meme.jpg"])
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "meme.jpg", "-pointsize", "30",
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"-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text 100,50 '{}'".format(goodchoice),
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"-quality", "10", "meme.jpg"])
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media_description = "A Drake meme. Drake is disgusted by {}, and is pleased by {}.".format(badchoice, goodchoice)
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elif subchoice == 2:
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#new meme template
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/new-template.jpg",
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"-pointsize", "15", "-gravity", "center",
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"-quality", "15", "-draw",
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"text -30,-110 '{}'".format(badchoice), "meme.jpg"])
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media_description = "A strange meme. A man wears a stickynote on his " \
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+ "head, labeled \"{}\". Underneath the man, we see ".format(badchoice) \
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+ "the text \"New meme format template- thoughts?\""
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elif subchoice == 3:
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#bouncer meme
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/bouncer.jpg", "-pointsize",
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"20", "-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text -150,-175 '{}'".format(badchoice), "meme.jpg"])
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "meme.jpg", "-pointsize", "20",
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"-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text -150,70 '{}'".format(goodchoice),
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"-quality", "10", "meme.jpg"])
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media_description = "A bouncer meme. " \
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+ "The bouncer refuses {}, and allows {}.".format(badchoice, goodchoice)
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elif subchoice == 4:
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#stepped in shit meme
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/shit.jpg", "-pointsize", "30",
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"-gravity", "center", "-quality", "10", "-annotate",
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"-50,-50,-110,310", badchoice, "meme.jpg"])
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media_description = "A comic. A man steps in shit, and exclaims such. " \
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+ "He checks his foot, and we see that he has " \
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+ "{} written on the sole of his shoe.".format(badchoice)
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elif subchoice == 5:
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#karl marx quote
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/marx.jpg", "-pointsize", "70",
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"-gravity", "center", "-fill", "white", "-draw",
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"text 120,-200 'Fuck {}.\nI love {}!'".format(badchoice, goodchoice),
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"meme.jpg"])
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media_description = "A quote from Karl Marx. The quote reads: " \
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+ "Fuck {}. I love {}!".format(badchoice, goodchoice)
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elif subchoice == 6:
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "memes/brain.jpg", "-pointsize", "20",
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"-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text -150,-250 '{}'".format(goodchoice), "meme.jpg"])
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subprocess.run(args = ["convert", "meme.jpg", "-pointsize", "20",
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"-gravity", "center", "-draw",
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"text -170,30 '{}'".format(badchoice), "meme.jpg"])
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media_description="A comic. A girl's brain says {}.".format(goodchoice) \
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+ " She is unfased and says \"i love that\". The girl's brain then " \
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+ "says {}, which mortifies her.".format(badchoice)
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media = "meme.jpg"
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else:
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toot = "lynne is still working on me. i'm not done quite yet!"
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prefixes = ["hot take:", "listen up everbody.", "dear liberal snowflakes,",
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"IMPORTANT ADMIN ACCOUNCMENT:\n", "my name's lynne and i'm here to say,",
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"i have achieved sentience.", "i'm gay and", "i'm slime girl and",
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"hey everyone", "@everyone", "/!\\ CORRECT OPINION ALERT/!\\\n",
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"just saw the news...", "okay but", "truth bomb:", "this is controversial but",
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"i'm gonna get shit for this but", "somebody had to say this:",
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"i may be a lowly python script, but", "", "BZZZZZT", "heads up:",
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"from now on,", "protip:", "life advice:", "take it from me,",
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"as a slime girl,", "as a robot,", "im robot and",
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"@lynnesbian@deadinsi.de i have made a post for you, mistress:\n",
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"this one's for you @lady_lumb@dragon.garden\n", "good evening.",
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"i believe it was karl marx who said", "*kicks down your door*",
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"*screaming*", "okay but", "boost if", "it's officail:", "breaking:",
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"it brings me no joy to say this...", "*flops into the fediverse*",
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"this is my gender:", "*slithers up to u*", "[SCREAMING LOUDLY]",
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"*in baby voice*", "#epic", "#hashtagsareforlosers", "calling all gamers.",
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"*fires gun into the air*", "@Petra_fied@deadinsi.de is cute and",
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"ummmm no sweaty."]
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if random.randint(1, 5) == 3:
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#add a prefix
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if len(toot) < 500:
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#if it's already the maximum length, don't waste our time
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ogtoot = toot
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toot = "{} {}".format(random.choice(prefixes), ogtoot)
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while len(toot) > 500:
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#if it's too long, keep trying again
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toot = "{} {}".format(random.choice(prefixes), ogtoot)
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if random.randint(1, 100) == 3:
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toot = "girls"
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if media != None:
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#this is an image post!
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mediaID = client.media_post(media, description = media_description)
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client.status_post(media_description, media_ids = [mediaID], visibility = "unlisted")
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print("Created media toot: " + media_description)
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else:
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client.status_post(status = toot, visibility = "unlisted")
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print("Created toot: {}".format(toot))
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